I don’t know why I take local politics so seriously, when I’d be better off doing analysis First Amendment Club style (from today’s Buffalo Rocket):

Marc Panepinto discusses the Kavanaugh matter with Michael LoCurto as Judy Einach, Sean Ryan and Jonathan Rivera “Listen and Learn!”

Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli!

(The Godfather of Primary Seasons!)

This year, the Democratic Party was going about its family business when its capo, Sam Hoyt, decided to stop on Elmwood Avenue for some fruit.  While there, out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of a couple of political operatives making a run at him. An ambush had been planned and they opened up on him with everything they had.

His close ally, Barbra (Fredo) Kavanaugh, had failed to protect him and by doing so endangered the entire neighborhood; leaving it vulnerable to Lord Byron Barzini.

Lord Byron had secretly struck up an alliance with Steve (the pigeon) Sollozzo, sometimes known as the Turk. The operatives failed and Marc Hagen-Panepinto, Sam’s consigliere, could be heard yelling; “They shot him 5 times and he’s still alive!”

Byron Barzini now gets a funny feeling every time he walks up the stairs to City Hall. “Who is the hunted one now?” he keeps muttering.

Sam’s second in command, Jeremy (Sonny) Toth, was furious. He now wants to take out the entire other side. It’s nothing personal he says; it’s just business.

Santino Toth now had to travel back and forth across the Grand Island bridges. He had counseled Sam to have the toll booths removed. He hated getting stuck in the toll booth traffic stating; ‘these booths tie up traffic and concentrate pollution, what I need is some ventilation.”

Shortly after, Sam recovered and blogger Joe Illuzzi went missing. Coincidentally Byron Barzini asked why he received two dead fish wrapped up in a newspaper article by Bob McCarthy.Steve Lucabrasi-Casey is actively trying to find out what the family plans now that Steve The Pigeon failed at taking out the godfather. Some say he plans to stop in at The First Amendment Club; he was told that they have some great pre-war Scotch.

It’s nice to see everyone getting along so well after these latest battles. Michael Corleone-LoCurto plans to invite Steve The Pigeon and Captain Joe Golombek-McCluskey to Santasiero’s Restaurant. It’s kind of old fashion there. If Mike remembers correctly; they used to have a pull chain toilet…

How does it end?

It ends, as it always ends; with a reading of “the Mighty Casey striking out!” at the club, while eating the Cannolies, drinking the wine and telling the mumaluca jokes!

Sammy Bacala said that it is so great at the Club; that he’ll send two free fish to who ever doesn’t agree.

* * * * * * *

Five Years before the West Side Times was founded in 1893,
the results were best quoted in the San Francisco Examiner –
June 3, 1888 by Ernest Lawrence Thayer:

“Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright,
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and little children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville — mighty Casey has struck out.”