Industry insiders, environmentalists, political operatives, corporate shills, home brewers, bicyclists and top level administrators in the New York State Honky Tonk Authority (NYSHTA), are calling a report issued by the newly formed Steam Donkeys Institute “a game changer” in the ongoing debate over event planning. The new report will be officially rolled out at the Steam Donkeys performance on Saturday (5/19, 9:30pm) at the Sportsmen’s Tavern.

The institute study—funded solely by the band with absolutely no influence from the entertainment industry—went through a rigorous peer review process late at the bar one night. “I’m pretty sure other people looked it over,” said Buck Quigley, front man for the Steam Donkeys. “I remember because I still have the napkin I sketched the graphs out on.”

Critics of the plan say the report is too one-sided. “It’s ridiculous that this ‘study’—if we can call it that—was funded by the band, and now it’s being rolled out to the press with all this hoopla,” said one anonymous skeptic, “but if you read the language in the report you quickly realize that the solution it offers to every problem is to book the Steam Donkeys for a gig.”

Quigley agrees it’s a surprising result, but stresses that the work was “guided by science.”

“Some were no brainers. The Steam Donkeys are an obvious choice to book at a hard core honky tonk like the Sportsmen’s—but when we crunched the numbers, it became apparent that the band was the best choice for birthdays, weddings, bar mitzvahs, block parties, festivals, mud bogs and fund raisers. In just about any situation where we found there was money to pay for entertainment, we also found that the Steam Donkeys would be the best band to collect that money,” Quigley explains, “And I think this report by the Steam Donkeys Institute proves that.”

The Steam Donkeys Institute was formed to serve as an unbiased public resource to help guide stakeholders through the difficult process of choosing entertainment for specific events.

The study also looks into the added benefits that could be realized through CD sales. “If everyone at the shows were to buy just one Steam Donkeys CD, it could create 200,000 good-paying jobs throughout the region. Two CDs would translate to 400,000 jobs, and so on,” Quigley adds.

Well, my wife Tracy and I finally got downtown to E.B. Green’s at The Hyatt Friday night to see and hear the legendary Jackie Jocko at the piano. And thanks to friends Howard and Mary Kunz Goldman we were able to meet the man. He even sang a song to us! What a great guy he is, and still going strong after all these years. We will be back, Jocko!

The Tins CD Release Show

TONIGHT

It’s been a good year for Buffalo indie-rock outfit The Tins. The band was fortunate enough to raise money through a Kickstarter campaign to fund their debut album and work with acclaimed rock producer Joe Blaney. In early September, they opened for Sam Roberts Band at Artpark. In March, the trio traveled down to Austin to play at the South by Southwest Music Festival. Just a few short weeks ago, they took home the grand prize in Artvoice’s Battle of Original Music at the Tralf. Tonight at Nietzsche’s, the undisputed BOOM champs are celebrating yet another milestone with the release of their first full-length album, Life’s a Gas. Joining the Tins will be local talent Canary Girls, Bryan Johnson and Family, and Early Attic. Show starts at 10pm.  

You can listen to their single “Vicki” off the new album here

Representatives of the natural gas industry, as well as anti-fracking activists, corporate yes men, Hollywood power brokers, bicyclists, and members of the New York State Honky Tonk Authority (NYSHTA) are praising this Sunday’s (5/6) performance by the Steam Donkeys at Pollywogg Holler Eco-Resort in West Almond, NY. The band will be playing all afternoon, from 1-6pm.

“With all this talk about pumping napalm into the ground to extract fossil fuels, we thought it would be a good idea to get out to the country and enjoy all the beautiful vistas the southern tier of New York State offers,” said front man Buck Quigley, “I mean, before the area undergoes the widespread environmental damage that will accompany high-volume horizontal fracking.”

An industry insider, speaking on condition of anonymity, takes issue with the remark.

“Quigley is just using his fame and star-power to spread falsehoods about hydro-fracture. First of all, it’s not exactly napalm we use. Believe me. I’d tell you what we actually pump into the ground, and what flows back up, and where we dump the most radioactive truckloads of it, but that’s proprietary information. Proprietary information is what makes American business great. Look at Coca Cola. Guys in lab coats guard the recipe for that stuff in a safe. It’s not Pepsi, and it’s not Royal Crown. It’s the science behind the beverage that’s made it a global icon, no matter what some movie star like Quigley would have us believe. He’s no different than Mark Ruffalo, Debra Winger, Josh Fox, or Blythe Danner in that regard.”

Does that mean he’ll be boycotting the show?

“No. I intend to go. Most of my time gets spent walking the halls of state capitols, distributing envelopes stuffed with cash to politicians. I can’t even remember the last time I actually spent time relaxing outdoors. Usually, if you see me outdoors, it’s because I’m talking into a microphone at the site of the most recent horizontal well mishap. It gets old, but they pay me a lot to do it.”

According to a NYSHTA spokesperson, the Steam Donkeys‘ music is a perfect fit for the hip resort. “Pollywogg Holler is one of those places that’s gained a lot of exposure through word of mouth—like the Steam Donkeys. Plus, the weather is supposed to be great, and we’re expecting a lot of cool people to attend—which is a good thing for honky tonk music overall. What could be better than an afternoon spent listening to good music, meeting new folks, exploring wooded paths, admiring sculpture gardens and hanging out in unique architecture? Plus, they make their own wine down there.” 

Click here for driving directions to Pollywogg Holler.

Based on enigmatic claims made in the band’s press release, the Steam Donkeys show scheduled for this Saturday (4/21, 9:30pm) at the Sportsmen’s Tavern will be unlike any that have come before. Reporters from print, radio, and TV outlets are mystified about why their bosses are sending them out to cover the event. 

“Dyngus Day I could understand,” said one local cameraman, under condition of anonymity. “This camera’s kind of bulky, but I didn’t mind lugging it over there because that’s a real spectacle. Look what it did to Anderson Cooper. But the Steam Donkeys? Whatever. I get paid either way.”

Social media mavens are all a-twitter speculating what meme best applies to the situation. Meanwhile, rumors are flying within the local business, healthcare, urban design and honky tonk communities that something extraordinary and unexpected is about to come to fruition, at last.

Don’t look to the band for clues.

“I’m as surprised as anyone. We’re just a 21-year-old band that’s been cranking out original music longer than some of our fans have been alive. Yet suddenly, we find ourselves at the center of this controversy,” said front man Buck Quigley. “It’s like the time we invented the term Americana, as it applies to music.”

It’s being widely reported that the band has been holed-up in top secret rehearsal space in Allentown, rocking with enough intensity to blow old fuses clean off the wall.

“It’s true. I saw sparks,” said one stunned interloper. “I knew I had to get out of there, but I just couldn’t…so infectious was the groove. Plus, there was cold beer in the fridge.”

Calls placed to the band’s management team are now being met with a recorded message

“The Steam Donkeys want to thank you all for your patience during this difficult time, waiting for the show to start. Please refer all further inquiries to the doorman and bartenders Saturday night. Thank you. And God bless the United States of America.” 

Ani DiFranco with Pearl & the Beard

Sunday 22, 7pm. Asbury Hall at Babeville (341 Delaware Ave). $37/$32.50. tickets.com, 888-223-6000

 As you most likely know, Ani DiFranco is a hometown self-described “Little Folksinger” who was born in Buffalo, spent part of her twenties in New York City, then returned to her hometown where she established Righteous Babe Records and then performance venue Babeville. Since the beginning of her career she has influenced fellow musicians, activists, and indie-minded people. Her experiences living in New York City, Buffalo, and New Orleans, activist concerns, sharp wit, and inspiring messages of personal and political change shine through her uniquely poetic songwriting. DiFranco has carried her recognizable sound and style throughout her eclectic and successful career. Performing with DiFranco is Pearl and the Beard, a folk pop band from Brooklyn, which is self-described as “three voices, one cello, one guitar, one glockenspiel, one melodica, several drums, ninety-six teeth, and one soul.” Given that description, their sound is delightfully cohesive and indeed bound by “one soul.” Pearl and the Beard perform each note with nuanced emotion that pairs well with DiFranco’s own folk earnestness. Ani DiFranco and Pearl and the Beard will perform for a sold-out crowd Sunday (April 22), both performances are sure to entertain and invigorate.

-jill greenberg

In an effort to elevate the region’s happiness quotient, the Steam Donkeys will perform from 5:30pm-8:30pm tonight at Sportsmen’s Tavern. Labor leaders, business moguls, political operatives, philosophy professors, bicyclists, board chairmen, bankers, and members of the local honky tonk community are praising the move.

“I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’ve had a long week. Thank God it’s Friday, and thank God I can enjoy a cold beverage and honest original music for a full three hours after I punch the clock today,” said one health care professional, on condition of anonymity.

“When we were offered this “Happy Hour” gig, I was initially hesitant,” recalls Buck Quigley, songwriter and front man for the Steam Donkeys (a noted music act and global think tank), “I didn’t think it was fair that happiness be limited to just one hour.”

The band held out for three, and the booking agent was only too happy to comply—since he didn’t have to pay them anything extra.

What’s more, legendary Stone Country will follow on the same stage starting at 9:30pm. Friday is payday for many western New Yorkers, and the mix of pleasant weather compounded by the presence of delightful company and great eats has the potential to create a “perfect storm” of happiness, with a chance of delirium.

Pure Soul Dynamite At Town Ballroom with Charles Bradley

Saturday, February 25

Photo by Robert Lorezel

2011 was the year of Charles Bradley. He was the 63-year-old new kid on the block who took the world by storm with his electrifying live performances and debut album No Time For Dreaming. Mixing the deep, impassioned soul croon of Otis Redding, the testifying holler of David Ruffin and the pure showmanship of James Brown, Bradley stood tall like a link to a rich past. His sound is something of throwback to soul/r&b tradition for which the likes of hasn’t been heard in decades, but here he was in flesh with newness and a refreshing modern immediacy. Now Bradley returns to the Town Ballroom on Saturday (Feb 25), one year from his show-stopping set supporting Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings to headline. His story has also been put to a forthcoming documentary Charles Bradley: Soul Of America and shows the man called “The Screaming Eagle Of Soul” as an unlikely underdog hero that would give Rocky a run for his money. Bradley’s unstoppable live set with The Extraodinaires hits Town Ballroom www.townballroom.com Saturday night with support from English funk-soul wunderkind Little Barrie. More on the documentary film at www.charlesbradleyfilm.com —gore peterson