Steam Donkeys Celebrate Spring at Sportsmen’s
by Buck Quigley - posted 2:22 pm, March 20, 2015
Early last week, archaeologists uncovered what was believed to be the fully preserved remains of a five-piece musical act, encased in a melting snowbank in the Black Rock neighborhood of Buffalo, NY, near the Sportsmen’s Tavern.
A private snowplow driver was the first to notice the weird anomaly at the top of the towering snow pile.
“A lot of stuff turns up in snowbanks,” the driver said, under condition of anonymity. “Everything from side-view mirrors to jewelry to i-Phones. But it’s not everyday you see a cowbell. I looked further up the pile and saw what looked like the edge of a cymbal sticking out of the ice. I got out of the truck to take a closer look. As I scraped away at at the snow pack, I came upon what looked like the foot pedal to a bass drum. And just above that, a cowboy boot. That’s when it hit me, ‘My God! There’s a drummer in there!'”
A team of archaeologists was called to the scene. What they discovered was shocking.
“As they cordoned off the area and began to pick at the ice, they realized that what they had found was, in fact, an entirely intact drummer with his arm raised as if to strike a cymbal with incredible force,” said a spokesperson for the research team. “It’s not unusual to find drummers frozen in snowbanks after a hard winter. But at the point when they become stuck and frozen in the ice they are usually performing their day jobs as pizza delivery men. What was unique about this specimen was that he was actually sitting at his drum set.”
As the researchers continued their work on the site they began to uncover, one by one: a bassist, a saxophone player, and not one but two guitar players, entirely intact.
“It was as if the whole band was frozen and buried mid-song,” the spokesperson said. “Except for the one wearing the acoustic guitar, who appeared to be nonchalantly sipping a Genesee Beer.”
What is even more remarkable is that upon close examination, each frozen musician was found to have a faint pulse. They were immediately rushed to the bar where they were administered shots of bourbon. The quick thinking of the bartender is credited with saving their lives.
How the band came to be buried in the snow bank remains something of a mystery. The leading theory is that they drove to a previous gig in a complete whiteout, and, while loading into the club began to suffer from hypothermia. As confusion set in, they may have set up in the street, thinking they were already on stage and that the oncoming headlights were stage lights.
The unfrozen musicians—known as the Steam Donkeys—are a Buffalo, NY-based music act and global think tank. They last played at the Sportsmen’s Tavern on December 26, 2014. None of them have any recollection of the ordeal they have been through, preferring instead to look ahead.
“What happened to us isn’t so special,” says Steam Donkeys front man and spokesperson Buck Quigley. “From what people have been telling us, everyone was feeling frozen this winter. We had it easy, being stuck in a state of suspended animation.”
The Steam Donkeys are celebrating the return of spring with a performance Saturday (3/21) at the Sportsmen’s Tavern, beginning at 8:30pm with a long set by their good friends Shaky Stage.
“After what we’ve all been through,” Quigley adds, “It feels good to be back.”