Artvoice: Buffalo's #1 Newsweekly
Home Blogs Web Features Calendar Listings Artvoice TV Real Estate Classifieds Contact

Carl Being Carl

Courtesy Marquil at EmpireWire.com

It was a cool evening; cool in the sense of temperature as much as atmosphere. The sun had just set and the cloudless sky was turning a lovely shade of dark blue, with a disappearing tinge of orange on the horizon. 

I pulled my car into a spot about a block down from the Dinosaur BBQ on Franklin Street to attend the City & State “welcome to Buffalo” party. The New York-based paper had just hired a Buffalo reporter, and it was hosting a celebration. 

As I walked up Franklin, I ran into County Executive Mark Poloncarz, who was rushing to get to a dinner at Bacchus with bigwigs from a local utility company. I saw Buffalo Rising’s Newell Nussbaumer and said hello. As I approached the Dinosaur, I saw Mike Desmond from WBFO speaking with City & State Editor-in-Chief Morgan Pehme and Chris Thompson – Pehme’s new Buffalo hire. 

After a while, a very slim, dapper gentleman from the statewide office of AARP came by to chat with Pehme and Desmond. He mentioned that Erie County had the 9th oldest population in the country. 

Right around that time, I caught a glimpse of a black BMW X5 across Franklin. It stopped to let out City & State President & CEO Tom Allon and G. Stephen Pigeon. Allon is a tall, bespectacled man who looks like he stepped right out of a Brooks Brothers catalogue. I introduced myself to both men. Pigeon shook my hand. Understandably, he wasn’t especially warm and friendly to me, but behaved like a gracious adult. They went inside. 

At this moment, the BMW had made a u-turn and parked, halfway in a spot, in front of the Dinosaur BBQ. Out comes Carl Paladino, and he is smiling and gesturing at me as if I was someone he was happy to see. He came around the car and was being gregarious and friendly with everyone. As we both extended hands to shake in greeting, I hesitated and said, “you don’t like me. I’m Alan Bedenko”.

At this he recoiled and inquired whether I was fucking serious. When I answered in the affirmative, he took a step or two back to tell me that I’m “a real fucking asshole, you know that?”  I replied that yes, indeed, I am, as I grinned from ear to ear.  He went on to berate me as a “disgrace” and a “fucking coward”.  I continued smiling as this old man angrily spat expletives at me on a sidewalk, in front of people, on a cool Buffalo night. He then went inside in disgust, informing the people with whom I was chatting that he would not speak to them while they were talking to an asshole like me. It was surreal. 

I continued speaking with Mr. AARP guy, Pehme and Desmond before going inside to check the event out.  I met Erie County Legislator Joe Lorigo, who is a nice fellow even if his politics are all wrong. I like that he recognizes that the legislature is – and should be – a deliberative legislative body, and the role he plays in it.  I saw his dad, too, but we didn’t get a chance to speak. I spoke with lobbyist Jack O’Donnell and met his lovely wife, Marina. It was O’Donnell’s birthday, evidently, and Pehme led the gathering in a round of “Happy Birthday”.  There was even cake. 

I spoke at some length with Camille Brandon, fresh off a primary loss in her Assembly race. While we were chatting, Paladino passed behind me and said hello to her, but indicated that he would speak to her later when “that asshole” was gone.  She later found me and said Carl had asked her why she was speaking to that “asshole”. He was entering Mean Girls territory. 

I saw Jim Heaney and Dan Telvock of Investigative Post, and Justin Sondel from the Niagara Gazette.  I spoke briefly with @HeyRaChaCha from Twitter, and we talked about all the fascinating people who were there. 

As I spoke with Sondel and Mark Cornell from Poloncarz’s office about hydrofracking and Niagara County journalism, Pehme and Allon took to the stage to thank everyone for coming to the event.  Evidently, Paladino was a sponsor of the event because he, too, took the mic.  He welcomed City & State to Buffalo, adding that it was about time Buffalo got some real journalism up in here. He added that Buffalo media had too many “worms like Alan Bedenko”, expressing surprise and dismay as to how I even got into this event, to which I had been invited. 

Of all the elected officials, journalists, and dignitaries who filled that room, only one name was mentioned – mine, spat out by Buffalo’s favorite son – a walking, talking insult billboardatorium

Oh, how delightful this all was. I don’t think you’ve really arrived in Buffalo until you’ve been viciously cursed out by Carl Paladino.

What have I done to this man, except tell the truth about him? His sordid racist emails? His failed candidacy? The horrible things that come from his mouth? This guy is the personification of dishing it out but not being able to take it. (Mr. Tea Party is hanging out with Steve Pigeon, now?) What have I done, except be one of the few not in thrall of his money or perceived power? He hides behind his money, hurling misogyny, homophobia, and invective from emails and billboards, but I’m the coward?  I mean, I never circulated anal horse pornography, but that’s just not my thing. 

What’s with the hate and anger? Here he is, a millionaire in his $70,000 truck, being feted and paid attention to by all sorts of VIPs from not just the region, but throughout the state, but he’s got to take especial time to attempt – and fail – to insult me from the stage at the Dinosaur BBQ at someone else’s event. How great is that

Almost everyone said it was “just Carl being Carl”. It was, indeed.  That is, of course, the problem, but he’s attained folk hero status and can get away with just about anything, and the list of “cowards” who are willing to call him on it is regrettably short these days. There’s a fine line between being a straight talker and the state of being “Carl”. 

As for me, it was one of the proudest nights of my life; a story to remember. I make it a point to never knowingly do business with Carl Paladino, and I didn’t touch a drop of liquid or morsel of food that he underwrote at the event. 

Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which spitefully use you, and persecute you. – Matthew 5:44. 


  • 25 Delaware

    Great article, and funny as hell. Then again, how could you miss with great material like Carl?

    • Ridgewaycynic2013

      You don’t need a writer penning a script for Carl. Just stand back and wait…

  • Know Saint

    This proves that your blog is a must read for policymakers and the like. Obviously, Carl checks in, probably daily, and is sore that he can’t control this page. The Paladino attention and shout out is like earning a merit badge. LOL. Keep up the great work!!!

  • UncleBluck

    Hey Alan…did you happen to notice was Carl out with his wife or his baby mama that evening?

    • Know Saint

      All things considered, whichever one it was probably had to fetch the Viagra because the mighty Carl Paladino was obviously all up in angst following this unexpected encounter.

    • I saw no females accompanying Mr. Paladino last night.

  • Marilyn Rodgers

    Ah, Alan, you are to be commended. I, too, have been the brunt of Carl’s angst and am proud of it. After all, the Greystone is finally done.

  • smoochie

    Carl is an embarrassment to the region, but not as embarrassing as the region’s tolerance of Carl.

  • GreenAndGold

    Carl parks like Mr. Magoo. Remember this article? – http://blogs.artvoice.com/avdaily/2013/09/20/parking-spots-are-for-proles/

  • jimd54

    This is hilarious. Reminds me of the great comic R. Crumb’s depiction of silly angry old people.

  • AnotherUnionSupporter

    Thank you Alan and Artvoice for all you do. Please please keep reporting the on the evil hatred, selfishness, greed, intolerance and deviousness that is Carl Paladino. And keep a kind heart toward the Buffalo Public schools. With Carl in the picture only more suffering will follow.

  • Hush

    Majority of WNY’ers: “ermagerd…CAKE?!”

  • jerkwagon420

    New Yorker’s preferred Andrew Cuomo’s warmth and class to Carl’s by a wide margin.

  • rhmaccallum

    I had not lived in this area very long but I knew who Paladino was from some Artvoice TV stuff. I had a big day working on something dirty. Old raggy work clothes with the freshness of good honest hard work on them when wife decided I should walk to the corner drug store with her and our little dog. Just a block and a half so I went.
    As we approached the Big Timer’s Club Paladino and another were heading towards the door, crossing within a couple feet of me. I recognized him so said “How you doing tonight Mr. Paladino?”
    The man stopped, looked at me up and down, his expression telling that he made me out to be some kind of street beggar or something. He snorted, rolled is eyes and made some comment to his companion about white trash or something.
    Then walked into the club in a dismissive way with no direct word to me at all.
    It was there and then I decide the man is an asshole with a capitol A. I just muttered “fuck you” and continued on.

  • jamesholstun

    “Rom 12:20-21 Therefore if
    thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt
    heap coals of fire on his head.”

  • Ridgewaycynic2013

    Well, I can see that there will be at least one resounding ‘NO!’ to Alan’s IPO for that wood fired brick oven pizza chain…

    As always, keep up the good work, Alan.

  • “anal horse pornography” or as I told a reporter from Time magazine back when we broke the story, “it was a video of a woman being sodomized by a horse, to , ummm, completion”. Probably the best sentence I’ll ever say to another journalist.

    • Equine completion, specifically.

      • Ridgewaycynic2013

        I wonder if he thinks of himself as Carl Palamino?…

  • Norm

    Given how happy much of Buffalo was to tolerate Jimmy Griffin for so long, is it any surprise that they’ve warmed up to this bully?

  • Ridgewaycynic2013

    Looking back on this article a few days after it being posted, you have to wonder what was running through the mind of the City & State people regarding Paladino’s rant. The rest of WNY is used to this from Tourette Tommy, but those not so well acquainted with the handicapped parker must have had a ‘WTF’ moment when Mt. Carl erupted.