Steam Donkeys Present First Annual Hump Day Gala
by Buck Quigley - posted 6:59 pm, June 24, 2014
The Steam Donkeys, a Buffalo-based music act and global think tank, have foregone their traditional third Saturday appearance at the Sportsmen’s Tavern this month—instead hosting a celebrity mixer at the club on Wednesday (6/25) at 7pm. The event will feature unique, miniature artisanal ice sculptures fashioned from actual cubes curated from band members’ drinks, along with post-modern carriage rides in shopping carts appropriated from the Tops supermarket parking lot across the street.
“We know that many of our fans look forward to Wednesday, or hump day, as a way to celebrate the approaching weekend,” says Steam Donkeys front man and spokesperson Buck Quigley, “And with summer now officially here, we wanted to offer them something classy, to make them feel as if they were hobnobbing with the one-percent out in the Hamptons.”
In addition to the ice sculptures and carriage rides, guests will be able to try signature cocktails made with the locally produced craft spirit One Foot Cock.
“We considered hosting a hump day bash or blowout, or even a hump day orgy, but we’ve already done those things to death,” Quigley adds, “We decided that hosting a hump day gala trumped the other ideas.”
“I have several things to do around the gallery tomorrow,” said one local patroness of the arts, “but I must say I’m getting pumped about this Steam Donkeys hump day gala.”
“On Wednesdays, I can get a little down, watching the market land with a thump,” said one local stockbroker, “but with this hump day gala to look forward to, maybe I won’t be such a grump.”
“I was really packing heat in spring training,” said a noted local baseball pitcher, “but I got thrown off by a bad ump and now I’m in a mid-season slump. Thank God for the Steam Donkeys and this hump day gala.”
“I’m so broken up,” said one local cuckold, “because my baby played me for a chump. I may as well go to the hump day gala and forget about that mean old frump.”
“Tomorrow, I have to take a bunch of old pipes out to the dump,” said a celebrated local plumber, “and after that, I have to replace a worn out sump pump that’s had me stumped. But a friend just mentioned the Steam Donkeys hump day gala—you bet I’m gonna jump on that.”
“I hope you will join us, the Steam Donkeys, at our first annual Hump Day Gala,” says Quigley, “we would have been playing last Saturday, but Sonny Landreth was on tour, and we got bumped.”