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Steam Donkeys Announce Rust Belt Symposium

1795761_10201737154776410_1816712769_nMembers of the urban planning community, business leaders, philanthropists, politicians, academicians, bloggers, bicyclists, and the local glitterati are all a-Twitter(TM) about this Saturday’s (4/19) Rust Belt Symposium hosted by Buffalo-based music act and global think tank the Steam Donkeys. The event will take place at the Sportsmen’s Tavern Music Hall, starting at 8:30pm.

“While we were unable to lure representatives from Detroit—mainly because they are simply bankrupt and even more plagued by urban blight and poverty than Buffalo—we’re fortunate that our colleagues the Whiskey Daredevils will be making the trip up from Cleveland for this historic event,” says Buck Quigley, front man and spokesperson for the Steam Donkeys.

The four-hour meeting will touch upon issues common to all post industrial cities situated on the Great Lakes, with an emphasis on greenwashing strategies, publicly-financed artificial economic development plans, architectural nostalgia schemes, “Hail Mary”-styled professional sports gambits, and more.

“But mainly, the seminar will be devoted to enjoying small-batch, locally-produced, organic, gluten-free, artisanal Americana music,” Quigley adds, pretentiously.

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The Whiskey Daredevils grew out of a former brain trust called the Cowslingers—who many Buffalonians will recall from their feverish performances at the Original(TM) Americanarama Festivals, which took place around the turn of the 21st century.

“I’d like to see more grassroots workshops like this one,” said a noted local bigwig, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Why should pie-in-the-sky fantasies for urban renaissance be dominated by the silver-bullet solutions recycled over and over by the ruling status quo? It’s high time those who have suffered for years under our incompetent leadership did some of the heavy lifting for a while.”

“The synergy created by an event like this could be a real game-changer,” he added, “which, in turn, could translate into more time spent on the golf course for people like me.”