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Oklahoma, Where the Lead Comes Sweepin’ Down the Plain

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Three responsible gun owners from Oklahoma decided to go on a responsible killing spree, responsibly picking out and murdering a budding Australian baseball prodigy for the “fun of it”.

“He apparently was jogging,” Danny Ford, chief of the Duncan, Oklahoma Police Department, said. “He went by a residence where these three boys were, they picked him as a target, they went out and got in a vehicle and followed him. Came up from behind and basically shot him in the back with a small caliber weapon, then sped away.”

It is important that teenagers have the fundamental and God-given Constitutional human right to own and possess guns so that they could responsibly combat the tyranny of jogging passers-by. People need to be vigilant when minding their own business (something not enumerated in the Constitution and, therefore, not at all a basic human right), and yield at all times to the gun-wielding Constitutional scholar-cum-lunatic who has the fundamental right as a well-regulated militiaman to gun down people at random at any time.

The government goons have now arrested these three brave joggerphile patriots and will put them on trial for exercising their 2nd Amendment right to shoot people.

Remember: an armed society is a polite society. Liberty!


  • Sean Danvers

    If only the jogger was having his daily run with a safety-off drum-fed AK-47 like I do, this tragedy may have been averted.

    • Ridgewaycynic2013

      Doesn’t that play hell with your form?

  • Oklahoma requires a permit for handguns and the age requirement is 18. The 15, 16 and 17 year old teens involved are criminals who illegally possessed a handgun. This has nothing to do with the 2nd Amendment.

    • smoochie

      Kid’s still dead.

      • Is there a point to the non sequitur?

      • Kid’s. Still. Dead.

      • And that is a tragedy. Along with emotions trumping logic and the quest for a perfect world without criminals.

      • smoochie

        If guns weren’t as ubiquitous as, say, cell phones in this country, kid would not be dead.

      • That statement is built on a huge assumption. Perhaps if nylon stockings were outlawed, a bunch of women in Boston never would have been murdered.

      • I remember that Colorado school when those kids went on a nylon-stocking-strangling spree.

      • JJP14201

        I remember some kids in Colorado whose parents were indifferent to what their kids were doing. Whose school turned a blind eye to a culture of bullying. Whose friend legally bought them guns to use in their twisted plot. There were a lot of things that allowed that situation to happen but you still have a hardon for blaming nothing but the gun. Maybe if their parents took an interests in their kids life, maybe if the school had a proactive system to deal with bullying, maybe if the friend had told someone that her friends were screwed up in the head. The gun played it’s part, I’m not arguing that it didn’t. But until you can look at all shootings objectively and understand that the gun is not the only problem then you will continue to be wrong. You’re no different than the pro-gun zealots you choose to denigrate.

      • smoochie

        Oh, shut up you idiot.

      • JJP14201

        unfortunately it’s not the proliferation of firearms that caused this death. It is the war by the anti-gun lobby against all things gun. Kids are no longer taught about gun safety because the anti-gun lobby cries at the top of their lungs that the gun safety classes are propaganda and should not be allowed in the schools. You don’t need an actual gun in the class room to teach gun safety but the material is considered just as bad a some whack job shooting up the school to the anti-gun lobby. If guns were not as ubiquitous as you claim they are, then it would have been a machete, axe, knife, bat, chain, etc…

      • smoochie

        Are you daft? You think those kids shot him because they didn’t know guns were dangerous? They used that gun exactly how they intended to (and in no way that a bladed weapon could have been used). Ever try to kill a jogger from a car with a machete?

      • JJP14201

        Am I daft? No, but apparently you are. Ever tried to run a jogger over with a car? Much more efficient than a machete. Maybe I’m giving the depraved criminals to much credit though.

      • smoochie

        Really. Tell me again how a fucking gun safety class would have prevented this. Seriously, I want to hear the gears in your brain clanking against eachother.

      • JJP14201

        If a child learns about guns from trained professionals instead of from music, movies, and video games then they might have more respect for both guns and life in general. Smoochie, you need to relax, you get way to worked up over this.

      • smoochie

        Funny, I thought you might need to recognize how your logic is flawed, but I guess it’s just another innocent murder victim, so yeah, no big deal, a-hole.

        Guess what, there are hundreds of millions of kids watching movies and playing video games in other countries and none of them have shot anyone nor taken a gun safety class. I guess they just must be better people than Americans.

      • JJP14201

        smoochie, I know your type, a little full of yourself. You have no idea what goes on outside your protective little bubble unless it’s propaganda that is spoon fed to you by one of your special interest groups. Good luck in life, I’m sure your mom’s basement is cozy.

      • smoochie

        Ah, yes, hilarious, mom’s basement, never heard that stale-ass cliche joke before. Who writes your stuff, Lazarus? You have no clue what my life is like–fuck you, seriously. I’m sure you’re out there shooting bad guys all day and perceiving the TRUTH and everything, but it doesn’t change the fact that nothing you said here makes any sense whatsoever. Sorry, buddy.

      • How is it a tragedy? “Person being dead” is the intended purpose of a firearm.

        It’s like saying “too bad” when someone dies of lung cancer and then suggesting the 2 pack/day habit had nothing to do with it.

      • So, when a police officer shoots and kills the wrong person, it is not a tragedy since that is the purpose of the gun? Children being killed by drones do not constitute a tragedy since the purpose of the drone is killing people? No wonder there is no accountability in Washington for myriad deaths of children and civilians. The drone was just doing its job.

      • I’m all for cops not being armed, as soon as we implement the same firearm restrictions that the UK enjoys.

      • AdamaDBrown

        That’s fine, if you want firearm crimes to double in the US. Which is exactly what happened in the UK after they banned handguns.

      • Not. Life continued after 2007.

      • JJP14201

        Yeah cause that ended all gun violence right? By the way, the cops in the UK still carry guns.

      • JJP14201

        Interesting to note, that despite the stringent gun laws in the UK, police officers are still armed. Maybe they realized that the criminals didn’t relinquish their guns after all.

      • JJP14201

        You really are that ignorant.

      • JJP14201

        But you refuse to address what caused the kids who killed the young Australian. It’s easier to blame the gun right? Why should you bother putting your Jurist Doctorate to use and engage in meaningful debate on what ails our society. The gun was obviously talking to the young boys and forced them to shoot the young man. Had the gun not been their, would a machete replaced it, an axe, a knife?

    • Beezelbubba

      They stole the gun or purchased it illegally, they were prohibited by law from possessing the gun due to their age and if any of them were felons they would be barred from possession as well. Clearly more laws will stop this from happening. Nothing short of mandatory licensing and registration of all guns will stop the illegal trade of contraband firearms and yet you have no politician bringing this up at all, its political suicide for them to do so. I guess you can go for a repeal of the 2nd amendment but thats not going to happen any time soon either for the same reason you are not going to have registration and licensing. There are 100s of millions of guns in this country and over 20 thousand laws regulating them, enforce whats on the books. Even if we had mandatory registration the compliance rate would be abysmal and you would have made a 100 million people criminals with the passage of that law.

  • MaxPlanck

    I’m sure Wayne LaPierre is rounding up donors for a defense fund for the young gun enthusiasts. Maybe a Ted Nugent benefit concert is a good idea,,,

    • JJP14201

      I suppose you think you’re clever?

      • MaxPlanck

        I know I am. Got you lookin’.

  • AdamaDBrown

    Alan, this is once again a perfect example of why you guys are so marginalized. Equating anybody who owns a gun with a dangerous murderer is a perfect way to alienate everyone who isn’t in your extremely small minority opinion. You’d recognize how ridiculous it is if someone insisted that everyone who had a penis is a rapist, or that every doctor who performed abortions was Kermit Gosnell, but you’re blind to your own bias.

    • smoochie

      Guns don’t make you a murderer; they just make it a lot easier.

    • I didn’t say or argue that “anybody who owns a gun” is a “dangerous murderer”. But it is true that most dangerous murderers own guns, is it not?

      Now, I don’t feel marginalized, despite the fact that I think tighter restrictions, education, and licensure are dramatically important to protect law abiding people minding their own business from law abiding people who really want to own a gun.

      Because the difference is that if I go batshit insane in the next 20 minutes, I have no access to a firearm and can’t go on an indiscriminate shooting spree. That’s not true for a gun owner. I mean, I could probably stab a few people, but it’s hardly an effective method to do what our friends in Oklahoma did, for instance.

      • smoochie

        Perhaps they could have thrown nylons at him.

      • AdamaDBrown

        That’s EXACTLY what you said. You’re clearly and repeatedly equating responsible gun owners with kids who–using an illegal firearm, to boot–murdered someone. Your inference is clear: that there’s no such thing as responsible gun owners, and that people who own guns break down into “murderers” and “will become murderers.” You said it yourself in your own comment. You think the half of Americans who own a gun are murderous maniacs waiting to happen.

        But your opinion flies completely in the face of established fact. Massachusetts in 1998 pushed the most restrictive gun laws in the country–so punitive against gun owners that the number of legal guns dropped from 1.5 million to 200,000. Did murders involving a firearm decrease? No, they almost doubled over the next ten years. Likewise in the United Kingdom, when they banned ALL HANDGUNS: over the ten years following that, handgun crimes more than doubled. The fact that laws restricting people from legally owning guns don’t work doesn’t seem to cross your mind.

      • In 2011, the United States had 11,100 gun homicides. The United Kingdom had 38.

        If you factor in suicides, justifiable homicide, and accidents, the US had 38,000 gun deaths in 2011 while the UK had 145.

        The UK’s more restrictive laws came into effect in 1997, after the Dunblane massacre of innocent children. You say that they “doubled in the next 10 years”, which would bring us to 2007. Well, it’s now 2013 – 6 years later. For 2011/2012, gun homicides were at a rate less than half what they were at the 2001/2002 peak of 96/year. So, if we talk about now, gun violence is down.

        ATF found that 2/3 of the guns used to commit crimes in MA came in from ME and NH, where it is exceedingly easy for cretins to arm themselves to the teeth.

        Your inference is clear: that there’s no such thing as responsible gun owners, and that people who own guns break down into “murderers” and “will become murderers.” You said it yourself in your own comment. You think the half of Americans who own a gun are murderous maniacs waiting to happen.

        The difference between a responsible gun owner and an irresponsible gun owner is a dead body. I don’t think that gun owners are murderers and future murderers, but I think that this mentality we have in this country where it’s just fine for any dummy to have a gun is insane. What I wrote was that it is far easier for an armed someone to go out on a killing spree if they snap than it is for someone who is not armed. That is a pretty uncontroversial and objective fact.

        Yesterday, some asshole in Georgia shot an assault rifle in the general direction of an elementary school. We live in a country where a 3 year-old who comes upon a loaded gun and shoots himself in the head has a father go on Facebook to say that guns are still swell and that the 2nd amendment is better than One Direction. Personally, I think my kids’ lives are more important than some asshole’s perceived absolute right to own a grenade launcher.

        At what point does my kid’s fundamental human right to not be menaced or shot at school by some lunatic asshole with a legally or illegally obtained gun outweigh the right of said lunatic to possess the gun? With 2nd Amendment absolutists, it doesn’t. And that’s a pretty big problem.

      • Beezelbubba

        Yes a convicted felon who was prohibited by law from owning a gun somehow got one anyway. It was already illegal for him to have the gun to begin with. How much much more illegal do you want to make it ?

      • AdamaDBrown

        Not to mention I should point out that here in the US over the last 20 years, we’ve sold an additional 100 million firearms into private hands. And guess what? In the same period, the rate of firearm homicides has dropped by 39%. The rate of other crimes involving a firearm has dropped a whopping 69%. That’s per the DOJ. It’s now painfully obvious that the “guns cause crime” line is based on outdated thinking, and yet it’s still an item of faith among some people, based on nothing more than a moral conviction that “guns are bad.” It’s the Religious Right of the left: facts don’t matter, science doesn’t matter, moral certainty does.

      • I don’t think guns cause crimes. I think people cause crimes.

        I also happen to think that people with guns have the capability to use a tool that’s really, really effective at killing people. It’s a tool that is hard to come by in other countries, and those countries don’t come close to matching the US when it comes to firearm deaths.

      • JJP14201

        Hard to come by in what other countries?

    • Michael Ostrowski

      Brilliant. El Supremomente!!

  • Bernard Lomax

    I can’t believe you’re blaming guns for this when it was clearly the fault of violent video games.

    If those video games had just been more entertaining, the kids wouldn’t have gotten bored and been forced to shoot real people.

  • jimd54

    Alan, I’m thinking this site needs a “drone drop”. A special place where people who have nothing to say about the topic at hand can simply click and DRONES, DRONES pops up leaving the current thread uncluttered from irrelevant bullshit.

  • Hank Kaczmarek

    guns kill people—like forks and spoons cause obesity. If someone pulls a gun on me, I prefer to reply with same. Put your dick in your hand and see how well you defend yourself against a pistol.

    • Rondo

      How do you protect urself from being shot in the back smartguy?

    • No one ever “obesitied” anyone in the back to death.

    • UncleBluck

      Yea….hanks a smart guy, he always has all the answers…al the wrong ones…..

  • JJP14201

    Alan, your abject ignorance would be comical if you didn’t have people that agreed with you. It’s obvious that you feel the NRA and other such groups advocate for the illegal ownership and use of firearms. You can argue that you don’t equate every single gun owner to a vicious murderer but the overwhelming majority of your comments on the subject say otherwise.