The Artvoice Best of Buffalo 2013 winners were announced Monday, and I suppose it’d be gracious to congratulate the winners, so congratulations.
But voters, jeez have I got some bones to pick with you.
Fat Bob’s Smokehouse
Best BBQ? Fat Bob’s location might be swell, and its food may be passable, and it might have a lively bar scene, but best BBQ in Buffalo? Absolutely not. The best BBQ joint in Buffalo is Suzy Q’s – hands down, and it’s not even a competition. This scrappy little joint up near the GM Powertrain plant is a diamond in the rough, which serves up smoked pork, beef, chicken, and Polish sausage that’ll make your taste buds sing and a grown man weep.
Not quibbling with this result, although it’s not my first choice. But do people even do brunch anymore? Is this still a thing?
Grover’s Bar & Grill
This is a knee-jerk reaction people have, but it’s totally wrong. Grover’s had burgers the size of frisbees, but although the meat is still big, it’s not like it used to be. At a recent visit, the meat was gray and dry and totally unsatisfying, especially given the lengthy wait. Ruzzine’s Rock Bottom directly across the street is infinitely better. The Roaming Buffalo makes a fantastic burger. Vizzi’s is good. People swear by the Sterling Place Tavern. But Grover’s? Only in your memories, not in real life.
BEST CHEAP EATS
Mighty Taco deserves to be on no list. It is emergency food; when you’re too broke or too drunk to eat anywhere else.
If I can make it better at home, it doesn’t belong on a “best of” list. I can make better coffee at home.
Lake Effect Diner
I have a problem with Tucker Curtin after his lobbying against the food trucks. I’m not a big fan of rewarding anticompetitive behavior.
BEST FISH FRY
Papa Jake’s Saloon
Wiechec’s. But really, best fish fry is who can best dip a frozen fish from SYSCO into a Pitco Frialator.
BEST ICE CREAM/FROZEN YOGURT
Anderson’s Frozen Custard
Are you out of your mind Buffalo? Anderson’s is fine, but my God the ambiance in there is 70s Burger King. The ice cream is ok, but it’s not the best in Buffalo. The best ice cream being made in WNY right now is Lake Effect Ice Cream out of Lockport. They make wonderful, rich ice creams and create innovative flavors. Get your heads out of your asses. Hell, even for custard, Abbott’s and Hibbard’s are way batter.
I love Chef’s as much as the next fat white guy, but it’s not the best Italian food in WNY. Not by a long shot. It is a spaghetti parm factory. San Marco (caution: annoying noise)? Mulberry? Lombardo’s?
I’m not in college anymore, so The Original Pancake House.
Not remotely. Romeo & Juliet’s, Trattoria Aroma, Siena, 800 Maple, Rocco’s, La Hacienda of Niagara Falls, Pizza Oven, Elm St Bakery all make pizza that’s head and shoulders above La Nova’s floppy stuff.
BEST SUBS, BEST PLACE TO EAT AT 2AM
Russell’s Steaks, Chops & More
There’s room for improvement.
That’s it. Get it together, Buffalo. Don’t make me tell you how to vote next year.