Steam Donkeys Welcome Delegates from Irvandstan
by Buck Quigley - posted 5:12 pm, April 19, 2013
The Steam Donkeys—a Buffalo-based music act and global think tank—will play host to delegates from the People’s Republic of Irvandstan Saturday night (4/20) at the Sportsmen’s Tavern Music Hall, according to a top-level diplomat who spoke with Artvoice under the condition of anonymity.
“Few people know of Irvandstan, and fewer still would be able to locate it on a map,” said the source. “But people of this proud nation share many of the beliefs we hold dear in the United States. Things like democracy, justice, the right to bare arms (especially in summer), and the pursuit of tasty waves and a cool buzz. It’s no coincidence that the event is taking place on 4/20, by the way,” he added, with a wink.
Irvandstan was founded by the sons of two fathers who never knew one another. The fledgling republic is named in honor of Irving Saracki and Stanley Staba Jr., who passed away on the same date (April 14) two years apart. Stan ran a scrap yard out in the country, while Irv spent his career teaching in Buffalo public schools and becoming a fixture in the local amateur basketball community. Their sons, Tim Saracki and Dave Staba, are the official heads of state. At 9pm, the dignitaries from Irvandstan are scheduled to arrive with their entourage for an official ceremony at the upstairs bar, prior to live music at 9:30pm.
“We’re proud to welcome these distinguished officials from the People’s Republic of Irvandstan to Buffalo,” said Steam Donkeys front man and PR flack Buck Quigley. “Even if it is only a ‘pretend’ country, a meeting like this could open the doors to trade. This could be like Nixon going to China, or something.”
Experts on global politics disagree.
“The place doesn’t exist. It’s like saying we should open an embassy in Oz,” a former state department janitor said.
“Any Native American will remind you that the United States used to not exist,” Quigley responded. “It only took a few guys drinking beer in Philadelphia in July of 1776 to change that. Who’s to say that something similar can’t happen again this Saturday at the Sportsmen’s Tavern?”