Steam Donkeys at Pollywogg Holler Sunday
by Buck Quigley - posted 12:47 pm, May 3, 2012
Representatives of the natural gas industry, as well as anti-fracking activists, corporate yes men, Hollywood power brokers, bicyclists, and members of the New York State Honky Tonk Authority (NYSHTA) are praising this Sunday’s (5/6) performance by the Steam Donkeys at Pollywogg Holler Eco-Resort in West Almond, NY. The band will be playing all afternoon, from 1-6pm.
“With all this talk about pumping napalm into the ground to extract fossil fuels, we thought it would be a good idea to get out to the country and enjoy all the beautiful vistas the southern tier of New York State offers,” said front man Buck Quigley, “I mean, before the area undergoes the widespread environmental damage that will accompany high-volume horizontal fracking.”
An industry insider, speaking on condition of anonymity, takes issue with the remark.
“Quigley is just using his fame and star-power to spread falsehoods about hydro-fracture. First of all, it’s not exactly napalm we use. Believe me. I’d tell you what we actually pump into the ground, and what flows back up, and where we dump the most radioactive truckloads of it, but that’s proprietary information. Proprietary information is what makes American business great. Look at Coca Cola. Guys in lab coats guard the recipe for that stuff in a safe. It’s not Pepsi, and it’s not Royal Crown. It’s the science behind the beverage that’s made it a global icon, no matter what some movie star like Quigley would have us believe. He’s no different than Mark Ruffalo, Debra Winger, Josh Fox, or Blythe Danner in that regard.”
Does that mean he’ll be boycotting the show?
“No. I intend to go. Most of my time gets spent walking the halls of state capitols, distributing envelopes stuffed with cash to politicians. I can’t even remember the last time I actually spent time relaxing outdoors. Usually, if you see me outdoors, it’s because I’m talking into a microphone at the site of the most recent horizontal well mishap. It gets old, but they pay me a lot to do it.”
According to a NYSHTA spokesperson, the Steam Donkeys‘ music is a perfect fit for the hip resort. “Pollywogg Holler is one of those places that’s gained a lot of exposure through word of mouth—like the Steam Donkeys. Plus, the weather is supposed to be great, and we’re expecting a lot of cool people to attend—which is a good thing for honky tonk music overall. What could be better than an afternoon spent listening to good music, meeting new folks, exploring wooded paths, admiring sculpture gardens and hanging out in unique architecture? Plus, they make their own wine down there.”
Click here for driving directions to Pollywogg Holler.