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Steam Donkeys Gig Viewed as Important Milestone

Based on enigmatic claims made in the band’s press release, the Steam Donkeys show scheduled for this Saturday (4/21, 9:30pm) at the Sportsmen’s Tavern will be unlike any that have come before. Reporters from print, radio, and TV outlets are mystified about why their bosses are sending them out to cover the event. 

“Dyngus Day I could understand,” said one local cameraman, under condition of anonymity. “This camera’s kind of bulky, but I didn’t mind lugging it over there because that’s a real spectacle. Look what it did to Anderson Cooper. But the Steam Donkeys? Whatever. I get paid either way.”

Social media mavens are all a-twitter speculating what meme best applies to the situation. Meanwhile, rumors are flying within the local business, healthcare, urban design and honky tonk communities that something extraordinary and unexpected is about to come to fruition, at last.

Don’t look to the band for clues.

“I’m as surprised as anyone. We’re just a 21-year-old band that’s been cranking out original music longer than some of our fans have been alive. Yet suddenly, we find ourselves at the center of this controversy,” said front man Buck Quigley. “It’s like the time we invented the term Americana, as it applies to music.”

It’s being widely reported that the band has been holed-up in top secret rehearsal space in Allentown, rocking with enough intensity to blow old fuses clean off the wall.

“It’s true. I saw sparks,” said one stunned interloper. “I knew I had to get out of there, but I just couldn’t…so infectious was the groove. Plus, there was cold beer in the fridge.”

Calls placed to the band’s management team are now being met with a recorded message

The Steam Donkeys want to thank you all for your patience during this difficult time, waiting for the show to start. Please refer all further inquiries to the doorman and bartenders Saturday night. Thank you. And God bless the United States of America.” 


  • nobody_nortel

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