Artvoice: Buffalo's #1 Newsweekly
Home Blogs Web Features Calendar Listings Artvoice TV Real Estate Classifieds Contact

News from a Failed State

Everything in the world is irretrievably broken!

1. An Illinois nazi is running for Congress as a Republican. He thinks that Obama is an “illegal alien”, and that the Holocaust is “the blackest lie in history“, and that it “never happened.” Congratulations, Illinois Republicans! (To be fair, insane cultist Lyndon LaRouche perennially appears on ballots as a Democrat).

2. While the WNY right wing establishment and its mouthpieces try desperately to try and embarrass Congresswoman Kathy Hochul’s poor response to a blatant Catholic-church-organized anti-contraception ambush, one should note that the whole anti-contraception thing didn’t do Rick Santorum (PA-Papist Party) any favors among Catholics in Michigan this week.  As for the constitutionality of a regulation requiring Catholic-owned entities to offer contraceptive services to their employees, there is no religious-based exemption from obeying laws of general applicability. Rastafarians don’t get a special exemption from anti-marijuana statutes just because it’s their sacrament. 

3. A federal judge sent an email to some friends suggesting that the President of the United States, Barack Obama was born as the result of intercourse between his mother, (who was white), and a dog.  Ha ha! That half-black Indo-Kenyan illegal communazi usurper came about as a result of BESTIALITY!  HAFUCKINGHA!  Luckily, his Honor has a perfectly reasonable explanation: 

I didn’t send it as racist, although that’s what it is. I sent it out because it’s anti-Obama.

Thanks for clearing that up!

4. Speaking of emails, Buffalo developer Carl Paladino sent out an email yesterday demanding that the Republicans in the state senate move immediately to remove Skelos from his post as majority leader, or else Carl and his band of tea party folks who led him to a sweeping 33% – 62% loss to Andrew Cuomo in 2010 would recruit candidates to replace every single one of them. 

Your self-serving and weak demeanor and participation in illusion and theatrics in dealing with the Governor, Sheldon Silver and the establishment cabal in Albany are an affront to the people who worked so hard to elect a Republican senate majority only to be thrown under the bus. 

You are either incompetent or diabolical in your indifference to what was expected of you in leading the opposition and highlighting and bargaining for issues vital to your party and the taxpayers. Your inability to demand government transparency or to adopt it as required process in senate deliberations was unacceptable.  

This memo shall serve as my demand, on behalf of the Republican Party rank and file, for your immediate resignation as majority leader of the N.Y. State Senate. 

The Free Republican Caucus Initiative will deal with those other treacherous Republican Senators who with you sold out their integrity and abrogated their pledges to the taxpayers.

I think it’s precious that Mr. Paladino presumes to speak, “on behalf of the Republican Party rank and file” despite having been elected to no office whatsoever. As for “Free Republican Caucus Initiative”, it should be henceforth known by the acronym, “FREECCI”.  FREECCI released a demand that any Republican senator who doesn’t wish to face a tea party primary sign some pledge or another, enumerating Carl Paladino’s demands. Aside from Skelos, however, only a certain number of senators are singled out: 

We will support republican candidates who agree to a simple pledge stated at the end of this memo. Included are a slate of republican primary candidates to oppose Mark Grisanti, James Alessi, Roy McDonald and Stephen Saland, all of whom showed a lack of integrity and respect for those who elected them.

What do they all have in common? They were the four Republican state senators who voted in favor of same sex marriage last year. Although Paladino never mentions it once in yesterday’s release, covering up all his fury with angry rhetoric about Medicaid, the deficit, transparency, and the media – this all comes down to the fact that these guys voted to let the gays marry, and Skelos let them do it. 

5. A farm in Nevada recently tried to hold a farm-to-fork dinner, featuring meat, fruit, and vegetables grown on small farms in the region. The Southern Nevada Health District at first tried to throw roadblocks in they way of the event. When the organizers went above and beyond what was demanded, what amounted to a SWAT team descended on the dinner, declared everything to be unsafe for human consumption, and ordered that everything be bleached and disposed-of. This is an outrage that deserves nationwide attention. 

6. The contents of Valenti’s restaurant were auctioned off yesterday to satisfy a debt of over $5,000. In other news, Mighty Taco announced yesterday that it will be opening up in the location on Division Street in North Tonawanda that most recently housed Valenti’s. 

7. A woman living in a huge mansion north of Albany was arrested after investigators found that she was keeping a woman from India as a virtual slave, paying her what amounts to $0.85/hour for the past 5-6 years. Annie George paid the worker only $29,000 since she had worked there at all hours as a servant, starting in 2005. Prosecutors say the worker, who is unnamed, is entitled to back wages of at least $206,000. Recordings of phone calls between George and the worker’s son in India reveal that George knew what she was doing was a “big crime.” 

8. Warren Buffet, whose Berkshire Hathaway owns the Buffalo News, is a huge fan of paywalls. A paywall at the Buffalo News is under consideration, and its implementation would only do further harm to it. 

9. Insane southwest Sheriff who finds himself the target of a federal abuse allegation, will today release the findings that a “posse” he organized with respect to President Obama’s birth certificate. At long last, we’ll have a crazy elected official’s opinion on this huge controversy!

  • Bbill

    If you’re any age and you believe what Fox News tells you, you really have no brain.

  • Eric Saldanha

    This thread reminds me of that great Richard Pryor record – “That Papist’s Crazy”

  • Why are you afraid to discuss this over the phone? I want to give you and Artvoice one more chance to retract this befor I take it to the advertisers.

  • Alan Bedenko

    The opportunism and subterfuge of the positions you strike in your comments here — false equivalencies, outsized indignation, evasion of counterpoints — do not bespeak a serious person concerned with truth, and so I will not correspond with you again.

    Should you choose to try to convince our advertisers to take your argument seriously, I will respond to those with questions but not to you.

    Enjoy your day.

  • Mike Chmiel

    “Why are you afraid to discuss this over the phone? I want to give you and Artvoice one more chance to retract this befor I take it to the advertisers.

    Comment by Patrick Krey — March 6, 2012 @ 9:59 am”

    The escort services who advertise in the back of Artvoice are going to be horrified!

  • Eric Saldanha

    This must be the dumbest shakedown in the history of dumb shakedowns/Clooney’d

    Bruno Hauptmann got more out of the Lindbergh baby kidnapping than poor Patrick will see here. Good luck with that moral crusade when you contact Man2Man or BoyAhoy, Patty.

    Patrick – are you sure your last name isn’t Valenti?

  • This isn’t a “shakedown.” I’m holding you to the same standard you hold others when it comes to hate speech. Catholics will no longer tolerate the double-standard for anti-Catholic bigotry. Obviously, this idiotic back-and-forth in the comment section is not getting us any where. Overly hyperlinked replies with “gotcha” personal put-downs is forcing this to go in circles. I and a growing number of other Catholics are extremely offended by your use of an anti-Catholic slur and even more offended by your refusal to even acknowledge it. Give me a few minutes over the phone to make my case. Once you hear me out and dismiss me again, we can see where this goes.

    • Alan Bedenko

      Anti-SANTORUM slur.

      In any event, I see this has devolved, as did the last thread in which Mr. Krey inserted himself, into an odd, somewhat disturbing plea for personalized contact. Since I’m not interested at all, and there’s little more to add, I’m shutting comments down on this thread now. We won’t “see where this goes”.

      As I wrote earlier, if advertisers express any concern, we’ll take it up with them.

  • Bbill

    Get lost