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Steam Donkeys Unveil 2012 Action Plan

Elected officials, financiers, health care professionals, labor representatives, bicyclists, and members of the local honky tonk community are expected to crowd the Sportsmen’s Tavern this Saturday night (1/21, 9:30pm) for the unveiling of a long-awaited blueprint for regional economic revival put together by the Steam Donkeys—a noted original music act and global think-tank.

“It’s all about creating synergy,” explains front man Buck Quigley. “We’re trying to create an environment where even the most out-of-touch bank administrator can sit down with a local handyman or roofer, share a basket of grilled hot wings and a couple cold pops, and hopefully come to an agreement on how to split the modest bill without arguing. It’s about breaking down silos.”

Quigley refers to the recent bankruptcy filing by Rochester giant Kodak, seeing it as a sad pattern for too many manufacturers in the rust belt.

“You look at these businesses whose names were synonymous with what they produced. Kodak. Xerox. Companies that just a few decades ago seemed indestructible. Companies that changed the way we live. But times change. I can only think of one company left in Rochester that enjoys that sort of mythical success, and that would be Genesee beer,” he reflects, “You can talk all you want about nanotechnology, but years ago, the scientists at Genny figured out how to put the great outdoors in a glass. That’s the kind of genius that once made this region great, and with each bottle I drink, I become more and more convinced that I’m right about this!”

“Again, Quigley is displaying his almost child-like inability to understand how economic development works here in western New York,” said one unidentified board member, under the condition of anonymity. “It’s actually quite simple. Step one is to identify significant buzzwords. Step two is to get all the relevant stakeholders together for visioning sessions. Step three is to group the buzzwords together into a presentation that suggests the vague semblance of a vision. Step four is to lobby Albany and Washington for as much public money as possible, with as few strings attached as possible—ideally over a period of years so that when it’s time to stand back and judge the effort, nobody can even recall what it was we were trying to accomplish in the first place. To the outsider, it can seem complicated. But for those of us doing the heavy lifting, it works.”

“We may not see eye-to-eye on everything, but in the end aren’t we all working to leverage another round out of the bartender? Differences aside, couldn’t we all go for a Genny now?” asks Quigley.

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  • Soon to be out of work Kodak worker & sport enthusiast … Looking to parachute into Sportsman’s Club to watch gig. Is there still a parking lot at that supermarket across the street? Put a big yellow and red ‘X’ there. Thanks.