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You had to see this post coming…

(First, you have to read the setup by clicking here. OK. Done reading? Did you notice the date of the press release? Yes, today. Good. Now, on with the show…)

Ed McMahon: I hold in my hand the last envelope. As a child of four can plainly see, it has been hermetically sealed. It’s been kept in a #2 mayonnaise jar under Funk and Wagnall’s porch since noon today. No one knows the contents of this envelope, but you, in your divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answer having never before seen the question.

(Carnac holds the envelope to his forehead, concentrating.)

Carnac: Artvoice. (He tears open the envelope, blows into it, and extracts the question. He reads.) Who told you a month ago that Satish Tripathi would be named UB president?

(Audience moans)

Carnac: May a bloated yak change the temperature of your jacuzzi!


  • Jim Holstun

    And dig the date for his installment, as revealed by Jerry Jacobs, UB Council Head: “The chancellor is asking the board to hold a special meeting in Buffalo around April 1 to consider this recommendation.”

    Please, Madame Chancellor, please: DO let it be April 1!