While at Democratic Party Head Quarters that [Primary] night, Republican James Drenning pointed out that on July 8, 1947, witnesses claimed an unidentified flying object with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep ranch just outside of Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the US Air Force and the federal government.

However, according to James; what you may not know is that in the month of March 1948, exactly nine months after that historic day, Al Gore, Hillary Rodham Clinton, John Kerry, Bill Clinton, Howard Dean, Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Feinstein, Charles Schumer and Barbara Boxer were born.

That piece of information has now cleared up a lot of things about the government’s reason for secrecy and about James.

Hillary was finishing up a day as Senator for New York when the Devil suddenly appeared in her office and made her an offer…

“I am here to offer you a deal,” Lucifer said. “I will give you unlimited wealth, even more power, and a media that will pander to your every whim. In return, all I ask for is your soul, the souls of every member of your family, and the souls of all your constituents.”

Hillary pondered for a moment and then asked, “Unlimited wealth and power?”
“Absolutely unlimited,” Mephistopheles, lord of the underworld asserted. “A pandering media?” she asked. “They’ll fall over themselves to support you, no matter what you say or do,” Old Scratch assured. “And you want my soul, my family’s souls, and the souls of my constituents?” she asked.” Yes. All of them,” El Diablo answered.

Hillary was deep in thought for a moment, then finally spoke: “So…what’s the catch?”