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The Maltese Falcon

Local Republican fundraiser extraordinaire Anthony Gioia has been nominated by President Bush to represent the United States in the upcoming 63rd Session of the United Nations General Assembly. Recently, Gioia opened his house for a fundraiser for John McCain. Over 100 people paid at least $10,000 each to have their picture taken with the presidential candidate at the event. I meant to attend, but I had misplaced my checkbook for the entire three-and-a-half hours McCain was in town. I was relieved to hear he made out with $1.5 million during his visit. Still, I really should have done something. I guess I could have donated my Rolex collection to the cause.

Gioia has been an enthusiastic supporter of Bush-Cheney since the beginning, an allegiance that was rewarded with an appointment as US ambassador to the tiny Mediterranean island nation of Malta, where he served from 2001 until 2004—the same year Malta was finally admitted into the European Union.

If his UN nomination is approved by the Senate, as is expected, Gioia will be in the exciting position of mending the widespread damage our country has suffered on the world stage as a result of the belligerent policies of the Bush-Cheney era. He should be up to the task. Check out his business card.


  • Bruce Fisher

    I dont understand…I thought that everybody around here who can afford a Rolex collection was invited to that particular party!

  • Buck Quigley

    Editor’s note: I incorrectly stated that I have a collection of Rolex watches. I meant “Timex.” I own two. One of them has a broken band, but still keeps ticking. I apologize for any confusion.

  • Peter A Reese

    Isn’t this guy Democrat Bob Gioia’s evil Republican twin brother? You’ve got to hand it to these guys. Whether its megabuck fund raisers (see George Bush and John StrangeLove McSame), selling rotten meat (Topps Meat), destroying our most significant historical preservation sites (The Commercial Slip), moving the Zoo, busting unions (Google Buffalo Niagara Partnership), flagrantly violating the Public Officers Law while acting as czar of our public health care systems (see Western New York Health System, Inc.), or just representing us as worldwide ambassadors for us all (see World War III), these guys are always on duty screwing things up. With people like them on in our corner we will never need any enemies! And people think high taxes are a problem? How about diastrously poor leadership?

  • Jim Ostrowski

    There’s nothing wrong with Buffalo that couldn’t be solved by running the top fifty political people out of town on a rail (with an implied warning to those who would replace them).